Honest and humble.
I've been thinking about this lately, with respect to many areas of life. An easy example is losing weight. There are a million and one excuses people use, such as:
"well, I eat way less than these skinny people so there's nothing I can do."
or
"I could if I wanted to."
or
"I don't have time."
and any number of other "reasons." But there aren't reasons. They are excuses. They are shifting the blame. They are denying a problem. They make you a victim of circumstance.
My excuse, for example, was something along the lines of, "I know how to eat healthy, I just need to do it."
Which is almost true.
Then I realized where step two comes in, which is admitting I can't do it on my own. This is very hard for some people. Admitting that we can't do it on our own doesn't make us bad, stupid, or lazy people. It just makes us people. And people need help sometimes. And luckily, I stumbled across Weight Watchers. Now I have something to help me, and it's working.
I now understand the concept of admitting a problem, and, more importantly, accepting responsibility for that problem. I am the way I am because of choices I have made throughout my life. I didn't choose my circumstances, but I reacted to them in ways that were completely my choice. And now I am who I am, still by the choices I make every day. I think until people accept this, they can't change. Why change if you think your life is controlled by someone or something else?
Then, having the humility to admit we need help. Which is just admitting we aren't perfect, and aren't we taught that humans aren't perfect from day one? This help can come from anyone or anything: a friend, a program, a counselor, God...the possibilities are as endless as you want them to be. Yet we take such pride in being self-reliant, self-sufficient. Why, though? Is any person in this world completely self-reliant? And why should someone want to be? We have the resources at our fingertips. But we just have to ask.
Like our pal Adam here. All he had to do was lift a finger.
I feel life my whole life is defined by the struggle with lifting that finger. Not just religiously speaking but everywhere.
ReplyDeleteWe talk about the shame associated with receiving help in this country- which we actually call services because the word help has a negative connotation- in school all the time. The end.
Miriam,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! WW works wonders--they helped me shed like 25 lbs...incredible!